Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I was just fine without it here
and now it's tortured my body and left me in fear.
Fear of not knowing what day will be bad,
when will it hurt, when will I be sad.
Once I could stand up, walk on, and be strong.
I could go to a job and work all day long.
Come home, pick up, and play with the kids.
Share laughs with my husband and get lost in him.
Fibro came in and changed my life,
damaged me as a person, friend, mother and wife.
It changed who I am. I am not me.
This isn't the person I wanted to be.
I've struggled with feelings of pain and despair,
fought to find doctors and people who care.
Alone in a world I once thrived in each day,
wondering how much more must I pay?
I can't sleep at night, I lay there awake,
Wondering how much more of this can I take.
My legs aches are endless, I can barely walk.
I know others are worse, so who am I to talk?
My back, head and arms they have the pain too.
Its all over my body, the pain that runs through.
There is no cure for this syndrome of mine,
I must carry it with me and march on in time.
March to raise awareness and hope to end pain.
Maybe I can help someone else cope in God's name.


Please help me raise awareness for this very painful invisible illness.

I've had fibromyalgia long enough to know something has to be done for us. We can not keep living like this. We need to find a cure or at least a treatment that promises hope and a future.
Thank you for your time,
Heidi White


Monday, February 1, 2010

Time goes by

Wow, where has the time went. I think I gave up on my blog for a while. Maybe I even gave up on myself. I just got caught up in the holidays, which I didn't want to be here and the day to day life of being a fibromite I guess.
I found a good Rhuemy! She took me off the Lyrica. Thank God! The side effects of that medication were far worse then the pain I felt that got me to take it in the first place. This doctor listened to me. I think it was a first for me :). She has set me up on a medication plan that seems to be having a good effect on me and it actually is helping with the pain. Not always but mostly.
I have managed to keep my spirits up now that the new year has begun. I'm hoping for this year to be my good year. I'm due, we all are.
Will have new blog coming right up!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Family Photo Shoot


Saturday, November 14th 2009

1 day, 2hours in time, 12 photographers and 1 women who gave a gift I can never repay her for. Add it all up and you end up with beautiful photos that will last forever and wonderful memories that will never, ever fade.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Monday October 19th 2009

I am still feelin icky. I hope that the flu goes away soon. The pain from it and FMS is to much at times. I have been having headaches and chest pain all week. Today the chest pain was very painful. It had a hold of me. It felt like I needed an adjustment between my shoulder blades badly. It wrapped around to my chest and boy did it hurt.
I've been trying to get my doctor from the pain clinic to refer me to a rhuemitologist in Peoria. A friend recommended her to me. I guess she specializes in FMS. So, my doctors office called today and said they would prefer if my family doctor did it. Are you kidding me? Its a phone call. It's helping your patient. I have got to say that I didn't expect much from him due to my past visits but this was stupid.
I called my family doctor to see if they will do this for me. Hopefully they do. I don't know why they wouldn't. The problem is this doctor didn't even diagnose me. She couldn't figure it out.
I feel like the health care system in my life is failing me. I need to make some major adjustments.
What to do what to do???

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Nick has something to say


Hi my name is Nick. I am 11 years old. I have somthings to say about my mom and her Fibromyalgia. First its hard to not be able to do what normal familys do. Second its so hard to try to live a normal life. Third its not easy to come home from school and her not feel good so I do what I need to and then I help her. Forth I like to go out to eat but she has went through so much with geting surgery on her back and galbladder. And its hard but me and my family will help my mom get through it. No mater what happens I will help my mom.

October 7th-13th

Dear Blogary,
I have done a really bad job at keeping track of my days. Wow, I have had a rough few days. Headaches stink. I'm really just starting to feel better. Between my headaches and body pain I thought I was going to lose my mind. I have been relying on my dear sweet husband to care for me the last few days. He is so sweet. I am not sure what to do with him.
I am waiting very patiently until November 24th so I can go to the Pain Clinic again. Im still waiting for my referral to OSF Saint Francis.
Heidi

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Tuesday October 5th, 2009

I'm going to use my blog as a journal, a diary...a blogary! I need to do this to track my symptoms and activity, etc. I will always "title" them with dates. Not names. If you choose not to read those, I understand.

Dear Blogary,
Today I am feeling slightly energetic but to sore and weak to do anything about it. I did go to town today and meet Bob for lunch. After that I ran a couple errands and on my way home I was exhausted. I couldn't wait to get home. My limbs are weak, probably from lack of use! Actually, this is untrue. I have a good day and then I over do it. So afraid to not get it all done. I should just do a little at a time in small doses. Maybe I'll try this.
My legs have that "Ive been all them all day" feeling, but I haven't. There is always that severe stabbing, burning, aching feeling in my left BUTT. Oh how I hate that.
My Left arm is numb. I really don't know how to explain it other than that but there surely is another issue than numbness with it. It kinda feels electric. Weird huh?
I have that headache that is not quite a headache lingering in the back of my head. Just waiting there patiently. Waiting till I have something planned or even worse, my kids have something planned. Hope it chills there for a while, I really don't have time for it.
I did however drink a cup of coffee this morning. You see, Bob, my husband, is on patrol. he is on it when it comes to stopping me from having things that are gonna get me later. But today, he felt for me and let me have a cup. Maybe I wont tell him about the headache and he just might do it again!
Sierra has a conference today. Oh the thought of sitting in that little elementary sized chair. Not excited about that, at all. Oh well it will be over in 15 minutes.
Then I'm home to watch the Biggest Loser and leave for my bible study group. Hopefully I survive to the end of the day. I'm already exhausted.
Back at ya later,
Heidi